Ignore the Blood on the Floor by River Song

Last week mommy went to get a manicure.  Pocket and I sat by the porch storm door to wait for her and to bark at everything that went by.  Daddy stayed in the living room where he was close enough to check on us but far enough away not to be driven crazy by our yapping.

When the zombies walked by we barked, and sometimes we climbed on one another to get a better view, and, if one of our claws were too sharp, there might be some minor nipping involved and the one bitten will react like they were having their eyebrows set on fire.

But on this day there was no crying.  Mommy came home, we danced for her, she greeted us and we went inside.

Mommy, who can see any imperfection in her little palace from a mile away, saw small dots of something on the inside of the door.  She checked it and determined it was blood.  She then inspected the house and found some on the floor, on the storm door window, on the living room floor, and the closet door.

Seeing blood splatter around the house really freaks out a parent.  At first they thought I had ripped open one of my paw pads.  They checked them thoroughly but could not find anything wrong.  Then they thought I might have caught my tooth on something and checked my mouth.  They still couldn’t  see anything there.  Daddy found that the back of Pocket’s harness had large blood spot.  They both became very worried that I was coughing up blood.

A dog coughing up blood is one of a parent’s worst nightmares.  I hated to see them fret but I did not want them to know the truth because they might be mad at me.  During a tussle with Pocket I had bit off the tip of her ear.

An interlude from Pocket:  “Yes, River bit the tip of my ear and it began to bleed, but I have been accused of being a drama queen, so I kept quiet.  When my parents found the blood they would investigate, find my bleeding ear, and fix it.  But no, they began to check every inch of River’s body.  Hello!  Bleeding Yorkie here!  I shook my head to make blood fly around the room.  “Look, more blood!” they said.  Then they began to check River once again.  Man, this is what I get for trying to be brave!”

At dinner, my parents were still talking about where the blood had come from. Pocket sat between daddy’s legs and pawed him.  I was sitting on mommy’s lap.  Daddy began to scratch Pocket’s head.  Then he began to work his way up Pocket’s ears.  “Uh-oh,” he said.

My mom asked him what happened and he showed her the blood dried on Pocket’s ear.  I looked away and innocently whistled.  My parents looked at me and their faces showed…..relief.  They weren’t mad at me, they were relieved there was nothing seriously wrong.

An interlude from Pocket: “Oh yes; let’s thank God that River is all right.  I’ve got Evander Holyfield ear but River is OK.  Praise the Lord!”

Talk about a drama queen!  Pocket got her kisses and loving, and I didn’t get in trouble.  It was a win/win for both of us.  I don’t know why she is upset.

If there is one thing I have learned watching humans lately when you make someone bleed, plead ignorance and wallow in the affection.