Thursday, May 18, 2017

Pocket and the Orange Stick

My parents have tried for nearly ten years to curb my freedom to bark whenever I please.  They have sprayed me with water, tugged my leash, used several commands, snapped their fingers, nudged me, tried to distract me with food, and even pay me off.  I defeated them every time.
Lately, they have carried an orange back scratcher and given me a scooch in the butt when I barked.  I turned around and barked at the stick.  I never got hit with the scratcher.  No matter how much I bark a human hitting a dog with a stick is never a good look.
My parents were resigned to being the embarrassment of the neighborhood whose every walk was accompanied of five pounds of bark.
Then, a few nights ago, during a walk, in the middle of a barking rant, Daddy tapped the stick figure on the ground, next to me.  It startled me, and I stopped barking.  Oh, darn!  Something worked.  I would have to beat the tapping scratcher.  I scanned the horizon and began to bark again.   
Tap.  Tap.  Tap.
“What was that?”  I stopped barking.  It was that damn orange stick!  I was not going to be defeated by a little piece of wood.  We continued our walk.  We saw a zombie taking his early evening walk.  We love barking at him.  A few barks, a few taps, and I gave in again.  I could hear Foley shaking her head in disgust.
Then I heard a dog barking inside a house.  Nothing gets me worked up like another dog barking.  I gave it right back to him.  Then the infernal tapping began again, and it made me stop.  I hate that scratcher.  River follows my barks, so he stopped too.  
We went around a corner.  There was a woman walker who had just got her mail.  She was walking on the other side of the street in the same direction as she was.  Normally I would bark at her every step demanding she gives me some attention.  But I was discombobulated by that darn scratcher.  I couldn’t muster an arf.  The woman looked at us and said: “They so want to bark don’t they?”
I let loose with some frustrated barks.  She asked for it!  But there was tapping, and I stopped again.  It wasn’t fair.  That woman mocked me.
I am going to have to think about this.  I am going to have to ask myself WWFD?  (What would Foley do?”)  I have to defeat the scratcher for dogs everywhere.
The resistance to the stupid, big, orange stick figure is on!


  1. Reality must take precedence and that orange stick is pretty darn smart to tap every time you bark! I guess it is sort of Big Stick ideology, Big Stick diplomacy, or Big Stick policy "speak softly, and carry a big stick".
    Thanks for being a friend
    Sweet William The Scot

  2. Great, you just gave mom ideas. Since I am a senior now, I Scream at anything with 4 legs. Mom will try the stick
    Lily (& Edward)

  3. Our barks go unstoppable like yours but we have never had this stick thing.

  4. Oh no, our mom is rushing around walmart looking for a damn orange stick for all us barkers also....we must revolt!!!! stella rose

  5. Not the Evil Orange Stick! We may have to get one for Dui. He doesn't bark, but when we go by 'barking fences', he cries.

  6. Mom says the evil orange stick could be your friend. Maybe the humans could give you a small treat with the tap tap tap and then that could be the "win" part for you:)

    Woos - Lightning and Misty

  7. Abby only barks when someone walks onto our porch. She recognizes the step of our mailman, who is very slight of build and barely makes a sound. She just whines at him. Anyone else, UPS< Fed Ex, door to door salesman, she barks really loud.

  8. guess what? the mama loves the idea with the orange stick... ewwwww! please cross your paws that the junk store has no orange sticks... just green ones or blues.... it only works with orange, right?

  9. Oh no! Don't be giving the humans ideas like that! Lately they tried using that old device that makes an annoying high pitched sound whenever I bark. Problem is, Dad is always slamming doors (he's hard of hearing so he doesn't realize how noisy he is sometimes) and that sets off the annoying sound machine thing too. Ghostwriter decided it wasn't fair for me to have to endure that high pitched machine sound because of Dad and his noisy self. So that was the end of that!

  10. an evil orange stick!!! Mom is impressed that it works!
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & mabel


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