Thursday, October 11, 2018

River is Suspicious When Pocket Goes With Their Parents Alone

What the Barney Frank is going on at my house?

Two weeks ago my parents left me alone and took Pocket with them.  Why would they do that? What does Pocket have to offer that I don’t?  I am cute, witty, and charming. If need be my resting bitch face can chase off the most determined criminal.  How could they take Pocket and leave me?

When they got home, I cornered Pocket and asked her what was going on.  She told me she went to the vet because she had a rash on her belly. I made her roll over.  It looked red. I gave it a whiff. It didn’t smell like yeast. Pocket said it was ragweed. I had no idea what that smelled like.  I asked her what happened after the diagnosis. She said she got two shots, one for the infection and one to stop the scratching.

The whole thing seemed fishy to me.  When I have gone to the vet for allergies or infections, I have have had to take pills afterward.  Pocket was sent home with nothing but a red belly, which looked like it could have been drawn with a magic marker.  Very suspicious.

When I had my paw and ear infections I got checked a lot, I got pills, and, in the case of my ear, drops.  Pocket got picked up a couple of times a day, had her belly examined, and that was it.

I tried to get Pocket to tell me the truth.  There was someplace special they took Pocket.  Somewhere I wasn’t allowed to go! I had to find out where.

Last Thursday my parents went out with Pocket again, leaving me behind.  During the confusion of getting keys, the leash, shoes, and getting out the door, I slipped outside.  I ran to my neighbor’s house and knocked on her door. When she answered, I pointed to my parents’ car, then at her, then at her car until she asked.  “Do you want me to follow them?” I nodded. I know most humans would not acquiesce, but my stare is very powerful. She started her car, and I sat on the dashboard as we followed my parents.

Were they going to the beach?  A casino? A long walk? Or crap.  They were going to the vet. And I was stuck in an old lady’s car while she smoked Marlboro Lights and took a sip of coffee and what smelled like something stronger.  I told her we needed to get back home, but she said she wanted to go to the mall. I did not want to go to the mall. All the good stores have closed.

I snuck out of the car and hid under my parents’ vehicle.  After Pocket’s appointment, while they were getting her in the front seat, I snuck in the back. When we got home, I jumped out before they saw me and was able to excitedly greet them at the door.

“I saw you,” Pocket said once we were alone.

“I just wanted to make sure you were safe,” I said, but Pocket knew that her health had never been a concern of mine before.

To keep her mouth shut I had to agree to lick her belly if the allergies come back.  The thought makes my stomach turn.

Now that there is something in it for me I am really worried about Pocket’s allergies.  I don’t want to be licking her tummy.

I would rather go to the mall.


  1. We suggest you hire a private detective if these mysterious trips continue. Licking bellies sounds awful.

  2. we don't leave our crib without each other... we even go to da vet together... the staff thought I will be more relaxed when da Nelly is with me... butt like always they were wrong... Now the Nelly is the same vet-terrorist like me... hahahaha

  3. Dang, that does sound a wee bit unusual!

  4. Well, now you know, River. We were wondering where Lightning is going all the time, but since he always comes back with that horrible cone on, we figured maybe we are better off not knowing the details:)

    Woos - Misty and Timber

  5. Oh, River, your lack of trust and compassion has landed you in quite the dilemma. Perhaps you can use this as a learning experience. I must say, I'm surprised no one smelled the marlboro smoke on you. That would have been an instant give-away in our house.

  6. I go all the time with out Hazel but Hazel rarely goes anywhere without me so I too get suspicious when that happens

  7. River, you crack me up! Resting Bitch Face, indeed! Clever girl!

  8. OMD, you are just too funny!!! I hopes you don't have to lick her tummy eithers...I doubt is taste like chicken....
    Ruby ♥


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