Sunday, November 6, 2022

The Ruby Rose Report: The Clock Strikes Back


It was Saturday night at 11 PM, and time for bed. Then my mommy said they should adjust the cocks. Having been neutered, I chose to sit out of this endeavor. Then when I saw them playing with the clocks, I realized it was the most confusing time of the year when our tummies are on one time and the world another.


We have a clock over the entryway to the kitchen. Daddy had to stand on a chair unsteadily to hang the clock after adjusting it. Apparently, it is as tired of this foolishness as dogs because the clock struck back.


It waited until my dad walked into the kitchen. On his way to the living room, the clock jumped from its hook and hit him in the head. The glass shattered into 87 million places. Daddy said a string of words not fit for late-night HBO, then ran over and picked me up. Even half concussed, he knew what was necessary.


Mommy came into the living room and saw the carnage. We don't always understand what our parents say, but we get their looks, and this one said, "what a blooming idiot."


Mommy grabbed a dustpan and began to sweep up the tiny shards of glass from the bare floor. Daddy got the Swiffer which mommy told him to put away, and bring her the vacuum. While still holding me in his left hand, he selected the steam cleaner. Honestly, I can't make this kind of incompetence up.


Mommy told him it was the steam cleaner and sent him to find the vacuum. He then sat on the couch like a kid who broke a lamp, having to watch someone else clean it up.


After a half hour, every shard was removed from the floor, and a new clock was ordered, so we went to bed.


Prematurely my parents thought the ordeal was over. But when you mess with clocks, you mess with nature, which is tired of humans trying to curb it to their own demands. Last night our living room became the front lines as nature fought against being sent back in time.


Beware humans around the world: Clocks are beginning to mount a counter-offensive. They will attack your head and circuit breakers and shut off electrical systems and car computers. When you set back the sundial each fall because it's the only way to measure time, you will remember you brought this on yourselves.


  1. Blaze and Lady made mommy get up early and they demanded to be fed.

  2. We thought our peeps were going to be late for church...but then they said nope...we are in the correct time...sorry you had to wait longer for your brekkie, BOL!

    They wish the time would not be moved back and forth twice each year, its hard for them too, to adjust some of their many clocks and watches.
    9 clocks, plus two more upstairs...and oodles of watches. most of whichh are not digital or 'self changing'.

    Petcretary's father was a clockmaker/watchmaker, and she has inherited a lot of the clocks she grew up with. Our hose is tick tock alley, BOL!

  3. we hate that time change stuff.. even after one week we have chaos... it is icompatible with our stomach clock

  4. Wow, thanks for the warning, Ruby!
    We'll be on our guard against the clock riots to come.

  5. Mom laughed her head off at this post. It sounds so familiar. Our Dad stands on a wobbly stool to reach the kitchen clock, too. Fortunately it didn't fight back this time but it would have played out exactly the same way. Maybe our Dads are related.

  6. Oh my.....and I thought it was just my humans! BOL!
    We sure hope the humans stop this time changing nonsense soon!

  7. I spewed my water at the blooming idiot comment. I think I heard her say that.

    Have a woof woof day and week, Ruby Rose. My best to your peeps. ♥

  8. Loved the blog couldnt help but laughed daddy got hit in head with clock but glad he wasnt hurt but glad he picked you up so you would not get in glass

  9. I love this story and did laugh but am so very glad the blooming idiot is ok and not harmed. Beau said to tell you Mama lives with a daddy very similar. Our daddy is 86 and needs to stay off ladders, stools and anything more than an inch off the floor. You are really precious Ruby Rose


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