Foley: Yesterday Daddy came home with a great surprise. Pocket and I each enjoy a game where Daddy wears a glove, and we bite on his fingers (not hard at all) and tug on the glove. I know it’s not supposed to be done because you don’t want pups to think they can bite hands but we’ve always known to do it only when there’s a glove. I wouldn’t recommend this game for any dog over five pounds. Anyway Daddy comes home with a beaver. And get this, he could stick his hand right into the beaver. Right up to the wrist. I mean the size of the hole in this beaver was huge. Biggest beaver hole I have ever seen. Anyway, Daddy put his hand in the beaver, and then he began moving it along the floor like it was a real beaver, and I was on it, growling and shaking my butt and it was a terrific amount of fun.
Pocket: Today, for some completely crazy reason, Daddy came home with a live beaver! What kind of person brings a live beaver into the house? A lot of time it would lie there sleeping and I’d attack it and it was fun, but then Daddy would go over to it and the next thing I know the thing is moving around and darting at me. What the hell was that?
Foley: It’s a toy. A freaking toy. It’s not a real beaver. You know how Mommy is about Daddy bringing strange beaver into the house and then sticking his hand into it (up to his wrist.) It’s a toy for us to play with, that’s all.
Pocket: I head Mommy say “You paid nine dollars for a beaver!” She didn’t say toy, she said beaver, that freaking thing is alive and believe me, the last thing a politician in an important political race needs is to be caught with some freaky beaver.
Foley: OK, Pocket, my little sister. You know how Daddy used to play with you using the glove, well he just sticks his hand up the beaver and it’s the same thing. You have a hand, a Pocket, and a beaver, that’s hours of fun
Pocket: I know the glove, I’ve smelled the glove. I love the glove. That beaver is not a glove.
Foley: OK, see the beaver, watch Daddy, see how he goes over to the beaver, see how he slips his hand in the beaver hole, and now see the beaver moving?
Pocket: Holy cow! There is beaver in the living room. (Pocket scampers up the stairs.)
Foley: You don’t know what you’re missing little sister. I’m just going to lay here and lick my beaver.
Are you a trip hazard? Have your parents ever tripped over you? How often? Did anyone get injured
Last year Pocket and I went to see a marvelous show called Jersey Boys. In it the character of the bassist for the Four Seasons, Nick Mas...