I would like to thank all my wonderful friends for their birthday wishes and kind words. I am the richest dog in the world because of all the wonderful friends I have.
But there are a couple of things you wonderful friends can do for me, this being my birthday and all. It would help me very much in my efforts to become a United States Senator (Remember: The Kennedys have been picking pockets for years, it’s time for a Pocket Kennedy.)
So the first thing I need you to do is very easy. You all have to move to Massachusetts. You can live wherever you want, near the beaches of Cape Cod; in the wonderful mountains of the Berkshires; in the cradle of liberty at Lexington or Concord; or in Boston, one of the world’s great cities.
The second request is even easier. I need a million dollars for what is called my “war chest.” I don’t really know what this is. I think it is something I wear just above my tummy to protect my little thumper. I don’t know why I need one but all the television stations say I do.
To make it easier and avoid confusion I don’t expect you all to sit around and figure who should give what. I need you all to give a million dollars. This can be by check, or money order, or one of those mules with the saddlebags over their back with a grizzly old prospector accompanying him.
A woman announced that she too wants to be Senator, which I found rude, I mean Lollipops Unite, right ladies? But I guess she doesn’t believe in sisterhood and won’t acquiesce (the biggest word I have ever used, I am learning so good.) At first when I heard she was running my little paws curled up in fists of rage, which was cool but when I walked I listed to left and tipped over, because I heard the woman was both an Attorney and a General and we all know someone who is both a General and Attorney but Foley said she won’t even run after squirrels anymore, never mind chasing a seat. If a recliner is moving Foley can always find a stationary one.
I don’t know if I’m a Dogacrat or a Repuplican. It just seems like all those folks do is yell at one another and nothing ever gets done. Foley said I should be an indogpendent, which sounds OK to me. She said I won’t have to run in a primary. What that means is that I can stay in the running right up until January.
Well I can’t wait until you all move here and give me a million dollars. I know Pokey Lunn will be around next weekend. Pokey I’ll meet you at the pizza place across from the Comcast Center and you can give me the million then. Big bills please, I’m small and can’t carry lots of cash.
Well thanks for all the birthday wishes and when you all move here and give me a million dollars we’ll have a cook out. See you soon.