Sad Dearborn case leaves no one to poop on

One of my favorite endeavors is to wander across the street (don’t worry, I look both ways) and speak to my geese friends that spend the day eating grass and relieving themselves on my stomping grounds at the state mental facility. I tell them about some human who has been mean to pups, and ask them to fly overhead and poop on the offender. They have regularly scheduled appointments at LT’s house.

I was scouring the Internet looking for someone to send my well-fed geese upon when I found this fellow: His name is Kenneth Lang Jr. and he lives in Dearborn Michigan up by our good friend Matilda. On July 22 he was found in his one level home, surrounded by 150 deceased pups, most of whom were kept frozen in a freezer, many of whom had died from puncture wounds to the heart, plus dozens other sickly, emaciated and filthy Chihuahuas. He lived in a brick house, with well-manicured bushes and neatly cut lawn. On the inside he had sealed his windows to contain the smell.

He was released on bond on September 4 and I was ready to get the geese loaded but something stopped me. Is this man a Michael Vick, abusing dogs for his own sick purposes, or is he a sick man, abusing dogs due to forces out of his control? According to the police he showed great concern for his dogs while in custody.

I guess I have a question for our humans. How is it possible that this man, who seemed to own this house, could hide these dogs for years without anyone noticing? There were hundreds of us in that house, but not a postman, not a neighbor, not a police officer noticed the barking or the smell?

While I don’t understand humans, I know how they act. They worry about getting involved. This Lang guy was released back on the street. What if he knew you were the one who reported him, who was responsible for taking what, through his twisted vision, were well taken care of dogs? What would happen to you? A slashed tire, a rock through a window, worse? Or would he hire a lawyer with less scruples then me and sue you. Suddenly, after your good deed, there is a chance you could lose everything you have worked so hard for in life. Dogs, we disagree, we tussle, and we move on. Humans let feelings do what they call linger, which means they never let go of their need for revenge. Pocket bites me, I bite Pocket, its over. For humans the biting goes on and on and on.

It isn’t just with us pups either. I heard about this girl kidnapped a dog’s life ago, who was kept in the back yard of this man’s home, bred, had babies, raised them there, and even when there were humans who were supposed to keep an eye on the man and visit him regularly, for 14 years no one noticed this kidnapped girl, who was now a woman, was there.

It would be nice if, when humans thought there was trouble, they could be free to speak up, and receive protection from those they spoke up against. It would also be nice if those who should be looking out for the Kenneth Langs of the world were doing so; protecting them, innocent children, and innocent pups like us.

I think I would rather be a pup than a human. I think our Mommies and Daddies probably feel the same way too. Our lives are much simpler. Of course if we’re the wrong sort of dog, like a pit bull, and we make a mistake, like nipping someone, we’re facing a death sentence. Humans seem to be able to nip one another over and over again.

So, I can’t, in good conscious send my geese to poop on Kenneth Lang, and I don’t know who I should send them for, sometimes there is just no one to poop on.

Except Michael Vick: So off to Philadelphia they fly, and since I’m in a particularly ornery mood, I want to warn all media members, if they treat him like anything more than an overpriced back up quarterback I am sending my flock towards the offending member, so if you go to an Eagles game, either at home or the road, even if it’s a bright sunny day, bring a hood, because you never know who is flying overhead.