Saturday, September 12, 2009

Pocket reaches the inner sanctum

Pocket has gone to Hyannis Port to meet her new family, the Kennedys, but, upon finding out that she was neutered, and sexually inactive, it was determined she could not possibly be a true Kennedy and had the door slammed in her little face. But when all seemed lost the door opened.

“Ahh,” the Kennedy man who opened the door said. “A neutered sex-less Kennedy, now, ahh, that could work for us. No sex scandals, no Vatican denying annulment, you might be, ahh, on to something here,” he said motioning for Pocket to cross the threshold. When she did she entered a large living room with floor to ceiling windows giving an expansive view of the Atlantic.

“Oh no,” Pocket thought, “all that water’s going to make me pee.’

The man pointed towards a chair and told Pocket to sit. She hopped up on it. “Would you like some chodaw?” the Kennedy asked. ‘No thank you,’ I answered, “chowder gets stuck in my fur and smells.”

“Ah, that’s the most disgusting thing I have ever heard,” Kennedy said, “but I like it. How are your drinking habits?”

“As soon as it gets poured I’m right over there lapping it up before my sister gets hers,” I said. “I’m told I get more on the ground than in my mouth.” The Kennedy was smiling and nodding his head along with her. “And if I drink too much too fast I get that snorts and end up peeing on the floor.”

“My God, it’s like looking in the mirror,” the Kennedy said. “Now, about ahh, driving, do you do it?”

“Oh no I don’t drive at all,” Pocket said.

“That’s good, we’ve ahh, we’ve had our problems driving.”

“I do like to stick my head out of the car while it’s moving,” I said.

“Umm, yes, uhh, you might have to stop doing that, we’ve, uhh, found out the hard way it’s better to keep your head in the car.”

Pocket thought that would be a small sacrifice to make.

“Have you served in the ahh, military, it is ahh, very important to have that on your, ahh resume.”

“My sister and I led the assault on the Princess’ castle the day Tanner went to Rainbow Bridge,” I said.

“Ahh, very good, code, the walls have ears, and what was your rank?”

“Lollipop!”

The Kennedy was taken aback, and then held up his hand. “Well the Senator always believed in don’t ask don’t tell. What is your position on health care?”

“Every time I go to the Doctor I get something rammed up my butt hole and I don’t like it. I don’t think we should have to take it up the bum hole every time we get sick.”

The Kennedy smashed his hand on the table spilling the contents of his tray, making two great tastes that taste great together, chowder and scotch. “There it is. Not even the Senator put it so succinctly. American shouldn’t have to take it up the bum hole every time they go to the Doctor. I am going to have to pass that on to Barak. Pocket, we are proud to have you as a Kennedy and you have our full support for the Senate seat.”

Pocket’s tongue curled up in a big smile. Things could not have possibly gone better and she could see herself in Washington passing laws to help all her doggy friends.

“Hey,” the female Kennedy said. “What is there a puddle under the table?”

Pocket’s smile quickly disapeered and her stubby tail went between her legs.

To be continued

1 comment:

  1. Here here Pocket! Good stuff. Now go Pak your Car in Havad yad!

    ReplyDelete