Sunday, September 20, 2009

How my crazy sister will help me get elected to the Senate

Hello friends. Pocket here. Wow, what a crazy week it’s been. I’m no longer a Kennedy. I am very happy with that. I think it’s time to let Pocket be Pocket. There was the wonderful afternoon with our friends on the yacht, then Foley’s embarrassing break down at the DVA’s. This morning Foley’s friends (enablers?) broke her out of re-hab and she’s back home, sleeping with Mommy after finishing a big bowl of Foley-tinis.

At first I thought how terribly Foley’s actions would affect my Senate chances. No one wants a skelaton in their closet, even if it’s a five pound one. But then I realized, all great politicians have crazy siblings.

Bill Clinton had Roger. Jimmy Carter had Billy. Jack Kennedy had Teddy, Teddy had Jack, and Bobby was lucky enough to have them both. Jeb Bush had W. who started an unnecessary war and forgot to listen to the weather report for the Mississippi Delta.

Maybe that one wasn’t good. But if you’re running for office, crazy in the family is never a bad thing.

I had begun to wonder, after losing the Kennedys and Foley’s incident, if I should abandon my Senate run. And then on Wednesday Zoe’s Mom Connie Gross drew the most wonderful picture of me in the Senate. I have been inspired to continue with my campaign for all puppies everywhere and owe Connie Gross my forever thanks.

Now enough with the Gross lets get back to the Crazy.

Having Foley as my sister means any mistake I may make either on the campaign or in office won’t top the news cycle for long because what I can do bad Foley can do badder. I will always publicly support my big sister, but then will “accidentally” speak into an open mike calling my beloved sister a “jack-ass.”

There is plenty of precedent to show Foley’s mistakes can only help me: Woodrow Wilson’s brother Desmond left the beloved sitcom Sanford and Son making many fans angry, but it did not hurt President Wilson; The unfulfilled promise and often selfish play of NBA guard Rickey Pierce did not prevent Franklin Pierce from being President; the slovenly housekeeping of Oscar Madison did not stop James Madison from reaching great heights; and don’t even get me started on Kenny Reagan.

So every time Foley either slaps or insults a cat, leads a raid on an unsuspecting castle, storms on stage at an awards show (we are keeping her away from the Emmy’s, Lord knows what she will do if Cherry Jones doesn’t win for 24,) it’s a plus for me.

So go ahead Foley, let your Crazy flag fly and I’ll ride your warped coattails all the way into the Senate.

Goodnight and God bless

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