Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Fifty Shade of Suede by River Song

river song tommy tunes.jpg

Last week I went to the groomers.  He was there.  He was on all fours, on the floor, his stubby little tail wagging.  

I first met him during my wayward youth.  I was a young lolipop in heat for the first time.  I was having all sorts of feelings.  No longer a pup, not yet a bitch.  I spent a lot of time leaning against the washing machine while it was on the spin cycle.  I scooted in circles on the rug for hours.  I licked myself to keep clean, and then kept going.

Then I saw him across the yard.   He slowly came over to me, spitting out a blade of grass.  He took a long smell of me then nodded.  He told me his name was Suede  He said I looked like a puppy looking to grow up in a hurry.  He told me he could take me to his room.

I could tell he was experienced, and I was a young girl in my first heat.  I cannot tell you why but I went with him, through the doggy door, down a long hall.  He stood on his firm, muscular back legs and put his forelegs on the door. It slowly opened.

I walked behind him into the dimly lit room.  I slowly looked around.  There were chains, dog collars, leather leashes, suspicious oblong objects.  It was his place of seduction.  “Is this your special room?” I asked.

“No it’s the mud room.  Mommy leashes up here when she takes us for walks.  Would you like a chew on my Kong before we does this?” he asked pushing one of the strange oblong objects my way.  I told him no.  He then gave me a lick and said we should get to it.

Then we (redacted) and then he (redacted) and the I (redacted) and then we (redacted) and then we both chewed a Kong.

The next day he was gone, back to his home in Massachusetts while I stayed in Florida.  After my litter was born my Mom decided I wasn’t meant for breeding and that I needed my own home.  This was right after Foley went to the Bridge.  Suede’s new Mom worked at Foley’s groomers, and after a couple of phone calls I lived in Massachusetts too.  After two years I finally saw him again.

While it was nice seeing him again I didn’t have the same feelings for him.  It was like someone took me to a doctor, put me under anesthesia, took a knife and cut out my lady parts.   I know that sounds crazy but I just felt an emptiness down there.

But I will always have memories of my day with Suede in his special room.  He took me from pup hood to lollipop hood and I will always have our memories.


  1. First love can be fleeting ...LOL! This was adorable.

    P.S: We have a fun giveway this week. Hope you will stop by.

  2. Why did you redacted ~ edit ~ the really down an super sexy part just like in the movies! I had my little bubblectomy and I cannot do a thing. Guess you will have to keep leaning against the washer, I hear the spin cycle takes you for a whirl.
    Thanks for being a friend
    Sweet William The Scot

  3. Some dogs are not to be trusted when they haven't been ...er...tutored.


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