Top 10 Things I Have Learned in 8 Years by Pocket Dog

Two weeks ago I celebrated my eighth birthday and am now coming full circle from a puppy who has not gotten the hang of puppy training to a senior dog who cannot control their pee.  I even have a little senior dog placard I wear on my collar that allows me to pee at special spots just for me without getting a ticket or towed.

I have been thinking of all I have learned in my life, from my sisters Foley Monster and River Song, from my parents, and from my wonderful friends.  I have compiled them in a top ten list which I now present:  Please to enjoy.

10.  Don’t pee into the wind if you want a dry undercarriage.

9.  There is nothing more comforting in the world than your parents’ touch.

8.  When you are on a walk if you see something bark something.

7.  Although they are all the rage right now zombies make very bad pet parents.

6.  I learned more from 30 seconds sniffing pee mail than I ever learned in school.

5.  Online friends are the best because, while they may look at your butt, they never sniff without permission.

4.  Even though I love having bananas, apples and carrots as treats every time I get one I think I am secretly getting screwed..

3.  No matter what technology they put in cameras us dogs will always turn away just before the picture is taken.

2.  I prefer my water dish shaken, not stirred.

1.  It is always better to have a four pawed sibling in the house so you can point to them and say “they did it.”