I was content at my former home where I lived with a dozen other dogs. Because many of them were puppies, I became their mentor.
I was surprised when the great River Song visited me in my dreams and said I would be the perfect dog for her parents. I wasn't sure. I had a good thing going, and I didn't need to mess up my life, especially getting involved with two needy neurotic parents.
While River admitted her parents could be extra, she said I would thrive with personal attention, something I didn't get in a big pack, and that all dogs need to leave the nest and spread their wings.
My initial thought was 'spread this,' but after I slept on it, I decided to turn my world upside down and become the only dog of broken parents. I wanted to go immediately but was told by River my soon-to-be mom and dad needed some time together to find out what life was like without a dog, do all the things they couldn't with a dog at home, including travel overnight. I told her I had the answer, life without a dog sucks, and you can't run away because Suck is a vacuum.
I felt like a first-round draft pick who is told they wouldn't be starting that year. If I didn't play immediately, I might as well stay at the University of Griffon. River told me to be patient. Sure, because that's what Griffs are known for patience.
The next night, in my dreams, which were infrequent because the drama about moving kept me up, River introduced me to the two other members of the Big Little Angels Three: Foley and Pocket.
Foley sniffed me all over, then stared at me for 10 minutes before announcing ‘she'll do.’ I was slightly offended. Of course, I would do that. Doing is what I do do.
Then Pocket said I had the smallest head she had ever seen in a dog. How rude, especially coming from a bag of bones like Angel Pocket.
River told me not to be offended. They were just nervous about their parents' next dog, who they wanted to be perfect and apparently, big-headed. I'm glad their mom didn't have to give birth to it.
By the end of my dreams, I had come to love and respect both Yorkies even though they were not the greatest dog friend a man has had, namely the Griffon.
I had time to teach my young chargers at my home all they needed to know before I departed,
Two nights before I left the only home I had ever known, River appeared and added to my anxiety. She told me I would be living in Massachusetts, but I was a conservative Florida dog and was now moving to Snowflake central, and I would probably be living next door to the God Damn Dukakis.
River told me dogs don't become involved in politics which curbed my worries, but I was sure Massachusetts was near the edge of the world, and I didn't want to fall off.
"Then she said I had a lot to learn: How foolish was that? I am a Floridian, and I was born knowing everything. I was worried living in Massachusetts would lead to me forgetting what I already knew. The cold and snow will do that to a dog.
"Then she told me I would be accompanied by the owner of the Lucky Dog Limo service. A limo? I pictured sitting in the back seat eating steak and drinking champagne, but that image was shot down when River told me I would be riding inside a metal bird, probably filled with snakes.
At least that is what I had seen on TV.
I began to think I needed to think it all out again.
To be continued