Clark Grizzleywold Goes to Disney World

 

I was hanging out with some of my bear angel friends, and they told me about Clark Grizzleywold. He lived in Orlando and decided his family needed a vacation, so he wanted to take them to Disney World. 

The angels laughed about that.

But I asked, "why not."

They had a lot of reasons, like, "he'll get shot." But it's Florida. They will probably think he was a West Virginian who wandered away from brunch at Mar-a-Lago. 

So, I went to Clark and told him all he had to do was walk in the entrance with his family at night when the park was closed, and they could go on the rides and enjoy themselves until they were escorted out or shot. It it's the latter; the bad news is death; the good news is you will be the most famous bear since Smokey crapped on a spreading fire and put it out. Remember, only poo can prevent forest fires.

One night, Clark and his family left the safety of the woods to go to Disney World. But, when they crossed the parking lot, his wife and two children stopped, noticing the park was closed.

"Of course it is closed," Clark said. "You don't think they would let us in if it wasn't," he said.

"But Dad, we can't go on the ride," the children cried.

He said he hit arranged; they would be on Space Mountain within the hours. "I don't think so," his wife said. "Little Clark gets sick if he's in a tree and the wind blows. If he bear vomits at the top fo the ride it will kill small children gathered below."

His family abandoned him, but Clark would not be deterred. His great-grandfather had wrestled geeks at the circus, his great-grandfather drove a family out of their cabin and lived like a king for a week, and his father is still standing in an abandoned Bugaboo Creek, and his only fun is when the chipmunks living in his butt stretch. When someone enters, the little critters have been known to sing "Christmas Don't Be Late," making the intruder flee from the mangy, angry, castrated bear. (Have you ever met a castrated bear who wasn't a little peeved?"

Clark walked through the gates of the Magic Kingdom and had the time of his life for twenty minutes. He climbed on the rides and was very happy, unaware that the fun part was when they moved.

Sadly, he was soon caught and was to be returned to the wild when one of his captors noticed Clark had a true sense of rhythm and now he is playing bass in the Country Bear Jamboree.

He was told to keep his legs still while they played so he didn't scare the guests.

He has done so most of the time.

The only time he has failed is when the chipmunks living in his butt stretched.