The Ruby Rose Report: 17 1/2 Pounds

 

17 and a half pounds!

I could not believe my ears. I, like all dogs, hate to go to the vet with the same passion, and the same reasons humans do. It is not how we become a pin cushion with a heartbeat. It's not the prodding, the groping, or the cold stethoscope. It's not having my little lifted to see my teeth, or the harsh, chilly table, or having to put my life, even if for a few seconds. It's not the smells, the bandage from where I got stuck, or having to wait for results. 

It s that damn scale. 

Firstly, all doctors officers are built on land where the gravity is more; powerful, so our weight increases a couple of pounds, the ones that change you from healthy to obese.

When we drove to the vet’s I sat on my mom’s lap trembling. She said not to be afraid but how could I not?

Scales don’t lie, they are blunt and judgmental.

There are a lot of scary words you can hear at the doctor's but none worse than “diet.”

The last time I was at the vet I weighed 14 ½ pounds. I was afraid an increase would mean less food, and I love to eat. Breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, power lunch, afternoon tea, supper, dessert, tornado puzzle time, snuffle mat time, and late-night snack: I not only want them every day, I need them to survive.

I was picked up by a vet tech who plopped me down on the scale and announced: “17 ½ pounds.” My parents gasped. The only ones who want to be told the dog is fat less than the parents is the dog

The jury and reached a verdict: Guilty.

I was in the Judge’s hands now for sentencing

She came in the room and immediately noticed my weight change on the chart. She felt my body, picked me up, put me on the floor and licked at me, put me back on the table as I shivered, fearing the next sentence.

“She looks good,” the vet said. “Maybe a pound over, but I wouldn’t worry about it. It is probably just winter weight.”

What? No diet? No special food? No nothing?

I love this vet! This is the greatest vet ever! I want to get sick just to hang out with this wonderful vet.

The rest of me was good too, but I don’t care, I am going home and eating a snuffle mat filled with kibble.

May this be a lesson to all of you: 

Find the vet or doctor who doesn’t look att weight gain as an abomination, and never let them go.