Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: 20 Years Ago She Chased a Squirrel Up a Tree and Now She's Being Sued

 

I am a very important judge here at Rainbow Bridge. I have taken an oath to uphold justice. So good did I end up the defendant in a suit filed against me for actions I took on the mortal side,

I was served with a summons by a timid chipmunk. I took it into my house and opened it. “I am being sued,” I announced, shocked.

“Is it because you used to eat my food?” Pocket asked, and I said it was not. “Is it because you used to bite me when someone approached us?” Annoyed, I said no.” Is it because you used to kick me out of the warm spot in the bed because you wanted it?” she asked

As I had often done, I ran out of patience with my sister, and snapped at her: “Why would someone sue me for things I did for you?” 

“Maybe they were just being nice,” she said.

I slightly growled then remembered my anger workshops and went to my happy place which was under the bed covers in a warm spot while Pocket shivered in the cold spot. Once subdued, I read the complaint: “In or about the 29th of August in 2009 I was gathering nuts on the grounds of the Taunton State Hospital when a dog, the plaintiff, chased me causing me to lose my nuts, The incident affected me so much I was afraid to get down from my tree, and it hastened my departure to Rainbow Bridge. Signed Sidney the Squirrel.”

A picture was included. I told: Pocket I had never seen the squirrel before. She turned the picture around to show Sidney’s tail and butt. Now I remembered. “Sure, I chased him, but I chased a lot of squirrels. There is no reason to make a federal case of it,” When I saw the hearing would be in squirrel court, and my fate was in the paws of tree rats, I knew I would have to present the case of my life.

I asked Pocket to go as my witness to say that we both chased squirrels. Sidney put on a compelling case and whenever I objected the monkey judge threw feces at me. Then it was my turn. I put Pocket on the stand and she surprised me by saying she was the one who chased Sidney. The squirrel could not identify which one of us did the chasing, and we all looked the same to him. The idea of being rewarded with my riches was stymied by Pocket’s testimony that she had no riches, just what was on her, and offered the squirrel a ham sandwich she had been saving. Reluctantly, Sidney took it.

When we got outside I thanked my little sister and told her I owed her one, which was a mistake, because there was only one thing Pocket wanted.

For the next six hours, deep into the night, under the moonlight, (the serious moonlight) I stood in the middle of Doggyspace Park and threw the ball to her for six hours until she was exhausted and happy.

Next time I am paying off the squirrels.