The Ruby Rose Report: Goin' Back

I go for walks with my Dad while Mommy makes supper, but with the approaching dark and cold, they will soon take place in the early afternoon, if at all, because the first part of my walk, is more than a drag.

I don’t like going for a walk. My Dad says I have to, because it will keep the weight off, and it is important, at least for a little time, for me to act like a dog.

I don’t see why. I prefer to live like a content sloth, going from bed in the morning, to the back of the couch, then eating breakfast, climbing on the recliner for the day, eating supper, getting back in the chair, then going to bed, where, for a half hour, I do act like a dog, chewing a before bedtime bone, then it is off to sleep so I can start again.

There are breaks in my routine: I climb off the recliner and go to my mat to play with my toys, and as I wait for supper, Daddy goes to the front room, with the big rug, and if the mood strikes me I might run off what little energy I have with a series of zooms. 

But that’s enough. I don’t want to work up a pant.

When forced to walk, I sing this ditty, hoping that I will be home before the coda.

Here it is.

I want to go back

Back then I was comfortable in my house

I want to return to

The days when I could stay in bed and sleep well past noon.

Now I go on walks

Being dragged most of the time

I don’t like sniffing the grass or finding hills to climb

But sleeping late and growing fatter is no sin

Life is not a game, you don’t need to win

I can recall a time

When I was afraid to leave the yard

But now I’m made to walk

A lot more than down the end of the driveway

There’s a lot to do

On my nightly constitutionals around the block

But I would rather watch nature on the app called Tiki Tok

I am told it is bad to give in to your fears

But when you do you live for many more years

If you want to walk

Please take the lead

I’d rather be lying down on my comfortable bed

With you, I’ll walk to the end of the driveway

And then I’ll be going back