Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: The Bird Flu

 

It is February and it has been a long time since I have been able to visit my parents as a bird. Some angels brave the cold to check on their family, but I am too delicate.

But, as we have passed the mid part of February #my thoughts have turned to the birds. I decided to take a walk to the bird body store to check out this year's model.

When I got there was a sign on the door that said ‘’Closed due to the bird flu.’’

I had heard of this affliction, but had not given it a lot of thought. Birds are the only creatures who are allowed to fly back and forth to the Bridge. It is why you never see dead birds on the ground. But with the bird flu dead birds are found in piles on the ground, and the new angels fly to the Bridge without their bodies, causing a shortage.

On the mortal side it has also affected the price of eggs, which has been bad news for the goose that laid the golden eggs whose output is now less expensive than store bought eggs. 

But none of that was my concern. I was consumed with the worry that come the spring months when my parents end their hibernation and stumble of out their abode like hobos off a rail car that I would not be in a pretty bird body to greet them.

I went to speak to the wise old owl who is in charge of the birds. I told him my plight but he was nonplussed, more worried about his brethren who could no longer take flight.

‘’Until we get a hold of this thing, birds are confined to their nests. Once a day the first bird who was hatched, born prematurely will go hunting because it has been ordered until this crisis is over that only the early bird gets the worm.’’

I protested but the owl could not be budged. ‘’I have seen you dogs in bird bodies. You fly too fast, you jump in the bird baths you canoodle in the nests, we can’t have that, at least until the flu runs its course.’’

I couldn’t argue. We dogs love to canoodle.

I went back to Doggyspace and put together a group to study the problem and find a bird substitute. They could only come up with bees. I am a first rate performer and I don’t want to be seen in a bee suit.

This year is not even good enough to be for the birds.

And I don’t see it getting any better. 

It is February and it has been a long time since I have been able to visit my parents as a bird. Some angels brave the cold to check on their family, but I am too delicate.

But, as we have passed the mid part of February #my thoughts have turned to the birds. I decided to take a walk to the bird body store to check out this year's model.

When I got there was a sign on the door that said ‘’Closed due to the bird flu.’’

I had heard of this affliction, but had not given it a lot of thought. Birds are the only creatures who are allowed to fly back and forth to the Bridge. It is why you never see dead birds on the ground. But with the bird flu dead birds are found in piles on the ground, and the new angels fly to the Bridge without their bodies, causing a shortage.

On the mortal side it has also affected the price of eggs, which has been bad news for the goose that laid the golden eggs whose output is now less expensive than store bought eggs. 

But none of that was my concern. I was consumed with the worry that come the spring months when my parents end their hibernation and stumble of out their abode like hobos off a rail car that I would not be in a pretty bird body to greet them.

I went to speak to the wise old owl who is in charge of the birds. I told him my plight but he was nonplussed, more worried about his brethren who could no longer take flight.

‘’Until we get a hold of this thing, birds are confined to their nests. Once a day the first bird who was hatched, born prematurely will go hunting because it has been ordered until this crisis is over that only the early bird gets the worm.’’

I protested but the owl could not be budged. ‘’I have seen you dogs in bird bodies. You fly too fast, you jump in the bird baths you canoodle in the nests, we can’t have that, at least until the flu runs its course.’’

I couldn’t argue. We dogs love to canoodle.

I went back to Doggyspace and put together a group to study the problem and find a bird substitute. They could only come up with bees. I am a first rate performer and I don’t want to be seen in a bee suit.

This year is not even good enough to be for the birds.

And I don’t see it getting any better.