The Ruby Rose Report: The Big Box

 

There is a glass box in our house that my parents study with great intensity all day long. I don’t mind it. The box leaves their hand clear which means I can get scratched, petted, and rubbed while the watcher keeps their eyes intently on the box.

There is only one time I pay attention to the box, when  that damn Liberty Mutual emu comes out to this entrance music. I wish I had entrance music, something that would play when I walk into a room. It would make me feel super important.

When the emu’s entrance music plays, I lift my head, or fight my way out from under the covers to watch the emu. Sometimes I give it a head tilt, or fight my way under the often present blanket to watch the emu. I have barked at it, and on days when  it is1particularly bothersome I even howled, which makes my parents laugh, which makes me angry because I don’t make fun of them when they howl.

This week one of the worst things that can happen to white, middle class, suburban, senior couples occurred.

The big TV passed away.

My parents went through the five stages of grief in the televisons’ final hours/

Denial: The screen went black mid progran, and the TV had to be restarted to get the picture back. They blamed the cable box, which could be returned and replaced for free.

Anger: My Dad yelled at the TV, and the Gods, who had foresaken him. Neither stopped the Tv’s decline.

Bargaining: My Dad said he would treat the TV better, not watch it as much, turn the brightness down on the screen, but it was too little too late.

Depression: There is nothing worse than  seeing a man genuflect in front of a black screen, then collpase on the floor, as slowly the truth necame apparent.

Acceptance: In a last second try, Dad unhooked the smaller bedroom TV, brought it in the front room, hooked it up wrong, again and again, as he grew madder until he got it right. Then he put it in on and the picture was perfect, which should have made him happy, but confirmed the big TV’s passing.

So now Daddy had to move the huge TV, and the two ton tv stand on to the porch, and then hook up the old TV. To say he had trouble is an understatement. Daddy said it was like someone was messing with him.

On Sunday Foley will pick up the story on how he tormented poor Daddy when he was trying to hook up the TV.