The Ruby Rose Report: Playing Possum

I have not heard from Mrs Haversham, the cat who lives under our house, in a couple of weeks. I looked down the floor vent and barked for her, but she didn’t answer

I could still hear her roaming around down there late at night but her scent had changed, it was more musky and thick.

Also, the food my dad put under the house at night was always missing.

Someone had been there and had supper.

But,  did not think it was Mrs. Haversham. The new occupant refused to answer my barks.

Who was sleeping down there?

I needed to know but couldn’t figure out how.

I went on the tablet to get inspiration but the Google search for ‘’what is under my house’’ was fruitless. I began reading my blogs when I was struck with inspiration. The camera my parents used to spy on me could do the same to the creature under the house. I found the camera on a window sill, got it in my paws, and then dropped it down the vent. 

I turned on my iPad and climbed into the recliner to wait. I soon nodded off, then was awoken by the chime signaling that something had been caught on camera. 

I eagerly turned it on to see the kitty and saw this.

• It wasn’t a Cat but a big y

I barked at it to leave the food alone.

‘’Why?’’ it asked. ‘’I am just a big cat.’’

‘’You’re just a big rat,’’ I answered.

‘’I resent that.’’

‘’Well, you’re not a cat.’’

‘’I identify as a cat.’’

‘’Well, I got news for you, that choose your identity stuff went out with the last administration.’’

‘’Well, I was born a possum.’’

‘’Then you are a possum.’’

‘I don’t want to be a possum. There is no upward mobility’’

‘’Well, regardless, we can’t continue to feed you cat food.’ It would be like those freaky people who live with monkeys.’’

The possum tipped over and stopped breathing.`

‘’Don’t even. Playing possum won’t work.’’

The discouraged possum stood. ‘’So, I am going to have to go back to hunting in January. I could starve to death.’’

‘’I’ll have my parents leave out some bird feed.’’

‘’Great, nuts and berries, which is hard to swallow after salmon.’’

I apologize, but we only rent gratis to kitties and they won’t use the space if a possum is there. I told him he could spend one final night there.

Now I lay awake wondering if he is okay and if the kitties will come back.

Running a halfway house for feral animals is more stressful than I thought