Foley's Tails From Rainbow Bridge: How Tariffs Effect Dogs

It has been a hard winter, and as we enter the third year of the second Trump term, we all could all use answers.

(Pocket’s editor note: After she wrote this I informed Foley that Trump has been President for less than a month, which was quite shocking, since I am immortal and have aged five years since January 20.)

So. to help combat this stress. I, Foley T Monster has found my AsK Aunt Foley hat, and am here to answer your question to ease your minds.

So let’s open the old mailbag.

As always, these are fake letters from real dogs.

‘’How will tariffs affect dogs?’’

• Professor Peabody. Bell Labs.

Dear Professor Peabody: First, let me say I am relieved that the tariffs implemented against Mexico and Canada have been removed thanks to the brilliance of President Trump, or the buffonary of President Trump, depending on which channel you watch. Humans have a difficult time with the truth. Dogs have a much easier way of finding the truth, by  using our nose, although it would take days to fully sniff and judge the President. You can’t see the entire Grand Canyon in one viewing. 

Anyhow, I am glad I don’t have to pay extra whenever a Canadian grease poops in my yard or a Chihuahua leaves me a pee mail. 

But that still leaves China.

That is the country that every dog food company swears that they don’t get any food from, and now have to decide if they should try to hide it and take a loss, or raise the prices anyway and blames it on delays on the Panama Canal which will be another country we have a showdown with. We also are taking over the Gaza Strip. Our foreign policy is being run by an ADD afflicted kid on the spectrum and a spastic colon. 

The good news is I don’t think any of our favorite foods, or treats are going up in price.

But if you love Kong toys, or others you are in a bit of trouble  snce the majority of pet toys are made in China. That country can make things the American Way, overpriced and highly destructable.

On Saturday, in a local store, two parents were talking, with their dogs on their leash, when suddenly one bit then other in the nose and held of for maybe 30 seconds. The victim was a little bloody but unhurt.

Then it was noticed the dog had a Trump leash.

The attacker must have been upset about his Kong going up in price.

I am thinking tarrifs are not all their hyped up to be.