The Ruby Rose Report: Stressful Humans

 When River Song first approached me, at the same home she was born in, to interview me for her former position as the family dog, she told me that mostly life would be quiet, filled with long afternoons of resting on a blanket, followed by nights snuggled under a blanket until bedtime and sleeping with her parents.

At first, I made it seem like it was something I needed to consider, but after almost a year of living in Florida with a big pack, I was ready to be an only and it's been a single day why lives  peacefully ever after (which is better than happily ever after, which seems like a lot of work and very loud).

But River also told me the downside.

Both she and her parents had dealt with more than their allotment of stress, which had created two monsters buried within them, and it would be my job to suppress the monsters and drive them back down the hole.

River told me the monsters showed themselves in different forms. Mommy's monster is quiet and sneaky. Everything will seem fine, and then there will be a single tear.

Daddy’s monster is easier to spot. His breathing changes, his face turns red, and then something goes flying. Daddy is a thrower, but he has matured, and now only throws non-breakable items into the couch.

But, I soon found out, the telltale sign of the monsters rising is a change in the way they smell. I often know they are stressed out before they do, which makes me an early warning of the stress system. 

River also warned me to ignore Daddy’s sports related stress. It may seem silly, but it also brings out the monster, for a few fleeting seconds. ‘’No dog can fix sports stress’’ Foley told me.

She recounted a story from 200. The Patriots were playing the Panthers in the Super Bowl, and later in the game the Patriots scored a touchdown and both my parents yelled, waking Foley, who was asleep on Mommy’s lap. At the time they were living in the condo with stairs that had two turns and landings on it. Foley got out of the chair, went up to the first landing, looked at my parents, shook her head in disappointment and went up stairs to lay on her blanket.

Since then my parents have tried hard not to cheer during a game.

After River left and I got the job I, when the stress monster appears on Daddy I put my paws on his leg and implore him to pick me up, which he is reluctant to do , because he is busy being stressed, but I persist until he does, and I always calm him down, or at least switch his focus to me.

With Mommy it is different. She is usually in her recliner. I start on her lap. Grab a hold of grand tetons, pull myself up to her face, and lick away the stressful tears, and then the ones caused by more claws.

I work hard at keeping the stress monsters at bay, but there are more things to trigger the monsters every day.

I think all dogs are finding their parents’ stress monsters getting stronger, but we dogs are ready to defeat whatever empowers the monsters

Being a stress dog isn’t easy.

Thank God I sleep 20 hours a day