Ruby’s Sunday Funnies

 

Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher.

"Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?"

"My daddy said it," he responded.

"Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher. "You don't even know what it means."

"I do, too!" Little Johnny retorted. "It means the car won't start."

  

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" 
Man: "Yes!" 
Reporter: "Name?" 
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." 
Reporter: "Sex?" 
Man: "Three to five times a week." 
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" 
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." 
Reporter: "Holy cow!" 
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." 
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" 
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." 
Reporter: "Oh dear!" 
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

A man follows a woman out of a movie theater, who has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find it unusual?”

“Yes,” she replied, “I found it very unusual. He hated the book!”