Friday, October 22, 2010

Keep Dr Pocket in mind when you enter the voting booth

I know it is late in the political season, and I have sat on the sideline watching the wheels churn and sputter, but I can no longer keep my yap shut, because I do not see a single candidate anywhere who seems either calm or assertive, I Pocket Dog, am announcing my candidacy for everything.

It doesn't matter if it's the Senate race in Nevada or the Governor's race in Massachusetts. If you can't stand the choice you're left with when you step into the voting booth then write in "Dr Pocket Dog, Citizen of Earth."

I am not expecting to win any of these contests but if I were to win one, or win them all, I will serve each seat I am elected to. Through video conferencing and e-mail I can be a Senator from Delaware, the Governor of New York and the mayor of Wasilla Alaska.

Plus I will not accept any salary for the positions I am elected. I do not need money. I need a ball to chase, Mommy's warm lap, and a snuggly bed to sleep in. Plus those people who pester politicians in lobbies won't be able to influence my vote. I could be persuaded by some lawyer bearing kibble, but there is only so much even I can eat. So while I may be eating out of the palm of their hands, I won't let them persuade my vote because, by the time I get into chambers, I will have forgotten who supplied the tasty treats.

I have heard that some candidates don't know what is in the Constitution. I am not sure what is in the human Constitution. I only know what's in our Constitution. I can sit on Mommy's lap right up to the moment that Foley wants to, then I have to skedadle.

I don't have anything to bad to say about my opponents. I am sure they are all good people. But boy, do they all say bad things about one another on the TV. I don't know why. It's like when Foley and I are looking at a bag of kibble. She's looking at one side where there is a picture of a dog eating, and I'm looking at the other side where the ingredients are listed and we get in a big fight over what's on the bag. We become so rooted in our opinion about what's on the bag that we bark bad blogs about it. But it's only because we haven't got up and looked at what's on the other side of the bag. But us pups are much more curious than humans and we're willing to get up and walk to the other side to see that we are both right. If only humans could get up and look to see things from the other side they would realize it's all the same bag.

Plus I am not afraid to own up to my mistakes. Robert Byrd never admitted to peeing on the floor. I will say I did. And I won't have any problem crossing the aisle. Especially if someone is eating potato chips.

So, when you go into the voting booth on election day, and you look at the list of candidates, and you don't like a whiff of their butts, and no one jumps up to nip at your heels, write in the name Dr. Pocket Dog: Citizen of Earth.

You won't regret it. I promise.

This was paid for by the committee to elect any one else besides the clucks who are actually running to an elected office.

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