Thursday, January 7, 2021

Pocket was Elected Pack Leadere but River Song Has Challenged Her Victory by Foley Monster

 

All dogs on the first Saturday of the year elect a pack leader.  Each pup in the family votes.  This is usually a formality.  The oldest dog is traditionally voted in as head of the family.  If there is a tie, the senior dog casts the deciding vote.  The angel emeritus settles any further dispute.

In most packs, it never comes to that.  But most families aren't as dysfunctional as mine.

As soon as you left the house on Saturday, Pocket called for a pack leader vote.  She chose herself, and River picked River.  Pocket then cast the tie-breaker, making herself the winner, at which point River stood and said she strongly objected to the results because Pocket was not a legal member of the household.

"That's ridiculous," Pocket exclaimed.  "I have been in this family for seven years longer than you."

"Yes," River conceded, "but do you remember the story about how you came into our pack?  Mommy says they went to a breeder's house on a Friday night and selected one dog.  When they went back, they were given another, which was you.  You're only part of the family by mistake, and that means your vote was illegally cast."

"That's not fair," Pocket barked sharply.   "You know our parents say even if I wasn't the one that they selected, I was the one meant to be with them."

"They just tell you that to make you feel good.  Regardless of the fact, you were never chosen to live here makes your  vote invalid, and me the pack leader."

A real brawl was about to commence when Pocket sent me a request to intervene in the dispute.  I was happily fishing in the stream, basking in the warm sun when I got the offer.  This family:  Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in.

I was agitated when I appeared to my sister as a ghost.  I told them both "just the facts, ma'am."  They were excited to see me.  Pocket because she knew I would rule on the side of the law, and River because when I ran for pack leader, my slogan was "At least I'm not Pocket."

I listened to both their arguments and found little reason to overturn the election.  I told River while I understood her issue, I could not in good conscience side with her.  She asked to speak with me privately.

"This isn't about me. It's about keeping the family strong,” she said.  You were the Sonny of the family taken away too soon.  I am the Michael: Cool and calculating.   Pocket is the Fredo weak and dumb.  How can we have sleepy Pocket as our leader?"

She had a point.  I needed to execute a compromise. “You need to let Pocket think she is the leader like Tony Soprano did with Uncle Jun.”  

River told me she did not know who they were.  I told her it was a show from the nineties.  “Okay, Boomer,” River cracked. Sometimes she really riled me up.

I explained how River would be the real power while Pocket only a figurehead. River was tempted to take the deal but worried that she would not get the recognition the position brings.  

“What recognition?” I asked exasperated.  “It’s like being President of the third grade.  No one outside of the school cares.  Mommy is the don.  She has the real power.  So take my offer, and pretend you are in charge, like the President.”

After considering it and napping for an hour midway through the consideration, River agreed and became the power behind the paw, precisely what she was before the day started.

And I got to go home, and went back to fishing, proud of myself for being the peacemaker, and the child of God.

10 comments:

  1. ooh we love that solution... it's what we do here... da nelly thinks he is da boss, butt I still tell him what he has to do...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm beginning to feel grateful I live in a dictatorship! So much easier to rule the household.
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. At least there was no bloodshed. We've had emergency room visits during leadership changes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Peace is always a good win.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  5. foley; we hope ya waz abe bull ta catch sum nice perch, bloo gil, a few trout anda salmon ore two bee for de election up heeve ull !!! ;)

    ☺☺☺♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good solution. Mom lets Dad think he's in charge, and he household runs smoothly. Us dogs know who the real power is - the hand that feeds us! Lucy and Xena and Riley

    ReplyDelete
  7. A very satisfactory conclusion:) In our pack, we don't really have a leader. We seem to just coexist. Timber does like to be the first one out the door. Misty likes to be the first to get pet. And Lightning - well, he just goes along with the crowd:)

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

    ReplyDelete
  8. When I was a little pup, Miss Ginger was the undisputed queen of the house, until she lost her vision. Joey dog never wanted to be pack leader, so that left me. Now I'm an only doggie, but that doesn't stop me from trying to boss my peeps around.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi friend, Ojo here! That's a good solution. I myself miss my Cobi because she was a very good leader and always kept me safe with her barking. And she always took care of other Dogs who were making me nervous. Now I am on my own. Is there a leader in a pack of one?

    ReplyDelete