Two weeks ago I was accused of a very serious, in fact, some would say felonious, act, the biting of my dear sister, Pocket's ear. I want to state, in great surety, that not I, or anyone on my staff, bit my sister. This is a made up excuse by Pocket to explain why she was not the first one to greet Mommy as the door. They said I had no clear path to get to the door first. No Griffon has ever got to the door first like I did. But I did. And when I did I was greeted by the most mommies ever. Period.
Pocket, who is totally unreasonable, kept this phony, made up story that I bit he,r alive. She invited one of the birds at the feeder to “independently” investigate if I bit her. I think having a bird involved divides the house, but Mommy allowed it. I met with the bird on three different occasions, where the bird confirmed to me that it did not think I was the one who bit Pocket’s ear. Satisfied with that answer I fired the bird.
The next day I had some of my cat friends over, and I bragged about firing the grandstanding, nut ball bird, which did take a load off of me, and I told the cats on what branches the birds lived, which I guess was a secret. One of the cats was a bird sympathizer and told them that I had leaked their secrets to the cats. I immediately denied the entire thing.
Word got back to mommy from those damn birds, and now she is investigating the incident. I don’t know how Pocket’s ear got bit, It could have been China. It could have been some fat guy sitting on his bed in New Jersey. She could have jumped off the couch and got her ear snipped by the ceiling fan.
I don’t think there has ever been a dog who has been treated worse in the history of bad things. And yet I persevere.
In closing, let me say, that, while I did not bite her ear, and I have already been told by Mommy that I am in the clear if I had bit her ear, she had it coming. If she had greeted Mommy at the door, it would have flown off the hinges and decapitated Mommy, so I did it for the good of the house.
And that’s the truth.