Teaching Bullies a Lesson

 

I hate bullies of all sizes and species.  They are often cruel.  They tend to look for the weakest souls and hurt them.  As a Yorkie, bullies mistook me for being weak, but any dog who crossed my path learned differently.  For human children, dispatching a bully is more challenging than a hardy snarl and snap.

Larry was a sweet little boy.  He loved stories about wizards and dreamed of being one himself.  He spent his afternoons in his room, performing spells.  At recess, Larry and his friends would practice wizardry.  Their activity caught the attention of bullies named Andre and Davis.  Larry's crew wasn't bothering anyone, but Andre and Davis were feeling a particular way and decided to hurt the group of wizards.  Their victims were sitting in a circle, casting fake spells, from a book Larry's grandmother had given him.  Upon seeing the bullies, everyone scattered except for Larry.  Davis lifted him from behind, and Andre punched Larry in the belly, sending him to the ground.  "We will show you what we think about your magic tricks," Andre said.  He picked up the Book of Spells, given to Larry by his grandmother, and ripped it to shreds.  

The poor boy went home and cried to his mother that the bullies had picked on him, hit him in the stomach, and ripped up his book.  His mother said she would call the principal to ensure the administration punished the boys, and his dad told him he would teach him to fight.  Neither of those solutions pleased Larry.  Feeling misunderstood, he retired to his room, where he poured his heart out to his dog Homer.  The pup knew neither the punishment nor a fight would end the bullying.  Homer had a better idea.  

That night Homer prayed to the angels for help.  I was assigned the case and met Homer in his dreams.  I was anxious to teach the bullies a lesson., so I hatched a plan.  I entered Larry's dreams.  The boy believed in magic enough to listen to my idea and implemented it the following day.

Larry stood before the school at lunchtime and said he would cast a spell at the end of the day and asked for volunteers.  Predictably, Davis and Andre said they wanted to help, savoring the idea of humiliating Larry in front of everyone.  

 Eager to embarrass Larry, Davis and Andre arrived at a groundkeeper's shack at the appointed time.  A group of students soon joined them.  Finally, Larry walked into the shed, wearing a pointed hat and cape.  The kids laughed at and mocked him.  He ignored them, just as Homer instructed, confidently stood in front of his classmates, and asked the bullies to join him.

Meanwhile, unknown to anyone but Larry, we angels, were conjuring spells of our own.  People report supernatural occurrences so often it seems like an everyday occurrence, but it takes a tremendous amount of concentration and will from the angels for them to occur.  We dogs were ready. Most importantly, we had been drinking.

Larry called the evil duo to the front of the room.  He had them stand with their backs to the audience.  Larry held up two papers and said they contained the most frightening information ever read by humans.  The boys confidently said they weren't afraid.  He handed them the notes; they read them,  smirked, and turned around.  When the audience saw them, they roared with laughter.

The witnesses did not know everything that happened to create the illusion, which is necessary for magic.   First, Larry bought some paper that would melt if it came in contact with human skin.  Larry used gloves when he wrote, "Don't tell what this note says, or you will be cursed," and the papers did crumble and disappeared after the boys read them, but that was only a tiny part of the trick.

Pocket, a dreaming Homer, and I used all our power and energy to pee through the dimensions and covered the boys' pants, so the audience would think they peed their pants when they turned around.   When the boys realized why the crowd was laughing, they insisted they hadn't peed themselves, but that is precisely what a pant's pisser would say.  

Nothing cures a bully more than pissing their pants in public. Convinced that the urine appeared because of Larry's spell, they didn't try to retaliate, afraid of what the little wizard would conjurer next.  Their bullying days were over.  They became Larry and his friends' protectors.  

Of course, we will never speak of what happened.  A magician like Larry never reveals his secrets.