Pocket Tries To Get Some Indoor Exercise

            River and I have accepted the sad fact that we are never going on a walk again.  Winter is here to stay.  But we still need our exercise so we have invented in door games to keep us fit.

            One of our favorite games is to sit by the window and watch Daddy shoveling.  It is exhausting.  We bet on when he will collapse.  The last storm River pointed the computer out the window, turned on the camera, and we began taking action across the country.  It was like watching the Super Bowl, a slip there, a stumble here, our hearts were racing.  Congratulations to everyone who had at the end of the driveway by the big drift.  The thrill of money changing hands and the close finish was exhilarating.

            But Daddy can only shovel after it snows which has been every three days this February so we need to find other ways to occupy ourselves.  I have my red ball that I chase, but it is barely red anymore.  It looks like a man with a comb over in a wind storm.  Sometimes River chases it too but she prefers chasing stuffies.  We need someone to throw them and we usually rely on Daddy and he doesn’t throw well while he is getting CPR. 

            There are other fun games we play.  We like to wrestle, especially in bed.  We roll each other over, bite one another, lick one another, even in our private parts.  I mean the bed is there and someone should be using it for that.  Our parents certainly don’t.  Then there is furniture skipping.  Jumping from recliner to recliner to the love seat and back.  This usually lasts until River forgets that the love seat is not a pee pad.

            We have also picked up our game at leaping from our parents’ laps and running wildly to the door barking our heads off at the slightest sound. It’s good for the cardio/vascular system.  And we have picked up our food begging at the table.  We even do some leaping with just our hind legs which is great exercise but somewhat diminished since we end up getting food for it.

            I don’t know what new games we can come up with now that we can never walk again, unless all this snow melts.

            You don’t see that happening do you?

River in Hoth

Hello my friends.  I am transmitting this from somewhere in the cosmos.  My family and I have been transported to Hoth the ice planet from The Empire Strikes Back.  I know the nerds just got a woody but dammit this is serious.

          I don’t know how it happened.  Three weeks ago we went to bed after a sunny, cold, day and we woke up on Hoth.  There was snow everywhere.  I could hear the sound of AT-AT walkers outside our windows but when I looked they were gone.  And even though they are not native Hoth every time I pass a mirror I think I see an Ewok.

          Pocket aided in determining our location.  She had her yearly examination today.  Everything is fine.  Hoth has extraordinary veterinary care.  The vet lives one town over.  Pocket was sitting on Mommy’s lap while riding home and when they crossed the city line she saw the sign “Entering Tauntaun” and, as everyone knows, Tauntauns are found on Hoth.

All I can determine is that the Empire is taking control of the Galaxy again and they need me for my powerful stare of doom, Mommy for her determination, Pocket for her ability to pee a tunnel through an iceberg and Daddy if a red shirted sacrifice is needed.

          So I am here waiting to get my instructions from Luke, Leia, and Han Solo.  The Empire may have thought they had defeated the rebels but River Song is on the Rebels side now and there is no stopping us.

          Unless one of you can figure out how to get us home and then we are so out of here and going to Baco Raton.

Follow the further adventures of Small Tales here

Enzo is our Apri 20, 2014 Pup of the Week

It has been a terribly long winter for everyone on the mortal side of the Bridge.  On this Easter Sunday hopefully a hint of spring has appeared in all your yards but there is one pup who is stuck in the land of eternal winter.  His name is Enzo and he lives on Enzo Mountain in Colorado where all it ever does is snow.

Here at the Bridge we have heard Enzo’s prayers and we have lobbied to help him.  But we were told Enzo’s Mountain needs to be thawed slowly.  If we do it too quickly it will send water rushing down the hills toward the little village of Pompei Colorado, and we don’t want history repeating.

We must give credit to Enzo and his family.  A similar fate struck Walton’s Mountain in the 40’s   All that’s left is the diary of their eldest son John Boy.  The last entry reads:  “We finished off the last of Grandpa last night.  We pulled Pa out of the freezer and will start in one him tomorrow.  We hope to make stock out of Jim Bob for the summer.  I just burped.  Goodnight Grampa.” Thankfully Enzo and his family have handled their misfortune better.

Even buried under snow with as little hope of seeing green as an Uruguayn rugby team Enzo and his Mom are still able to bring smiles to the faces of her friends, either through very good and very clever drawings or humorous comments on our pages.  Of course this is a sign that Enzo’s Mom has gone completely insane from being snowed in but she does make us smile,

Even if we can’t thaw them out us angels are still trying to help them.  A planned kibble drop went awry when we hit eagles in the noggin’ pissing them off and causing them to mount a counterattack.  We are now trying to convince the United States Government to move the capitol to Enzo’s Mountain hoping all the hot air will melt the snow.

In Ecclesiastes it is written that To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  So Enzo and his family is going to have to be patient.  There is as season for everything and their season of winter is taking a very long to end but it is all for a purpose under heaven.

If I had my way I would like to join them on Enzo Mountain.  I have even written a ditty about it

Oh to live on Enzo Mountain

With the snowfall and the six foot drifts

It never reaches twenty on Enzo Mountain

But when you go there you won’t want to leave too soon

You won’t want to leave too soon

Pocket Dog Ice Dancer

I am not, in any way, a fan of the snow, ice, or cold.  Being a wee dog the ice sticks in my paws, the snow sticks to my fur, and the cold clings to me for minutes after I enter the warm house.  

I do find myself a bit jealous of those big dogs that can go romping through the snow, jumping in and out of it, the gravity shaking it from their fur. I don’t have the push off the legs to romp through the snow.  I just sink into it and get stuck. Then I worry if the sun gets strong enough I, like the snow, will melt away.

But sometimes after the snow has been around a couple of days it starts to melt, then it freezes overnight, and makes a nice layer of ice on top of the snow.  For most dogs that’s when they go crunching through the snow but for me then when I can go gliding.

I climb up on the snow and suddenly I have summited a mountain.  I can see inches further than I have ever seen before.  I can look Daddy, who is standing in the driiveway holding my leash, straight in the knee.  I do so with a smile, not wanting to scare him with my now daunting size.

I tentatively take a few steps forward, and then I stop short. During warm weather walks this usually trips up Daddy because he isn’t looking at me..  But today he is just watching as I stop short and then skate across the top of the snow.  I shift my weight slightly to my right, lift my left legs, and start to go in a circle/.  I shift my weight again to the left, and do the same with my left legs making a wonderful figure eight.

While my Daddy yells at me to hurry up and pee I run towards the snow banks by the driveway and slide up and down like a furry penguin.  In my mind I can hear the announcer:  Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A Yorkshire Terrier, now, about to become the Olympic champion. It looks like a mirac... she set a world record!  She set a world record!  She set a world record.

After setting the record I did as all great champions do, first peeing, and then defecating on the course.  I then walked across the ice, in the sunshine, triumphant, hoping for a victory lap to cuddle up in when I heard a crunch, my right foreleg broke through the snow into the cold and my chin smacked the snow.

The sun had melted my fine crust of ice that has supported me, but that was OK, if it got cold overnight then I would have my ice back in the morning, and if not it’s one day closer to spring.

But for today, I am a champion.