Blog IV: The Search for Princess

By Foley:

The first time I saw that dastardly Princess of Cyberland I knew I had seen her before. Was it during the raid in Algiers? Was it in the jungles of Venezuela where I am known as “The Iguana?” Pocket and I put on our private dick hats and began to search for where we had seen this femme fatale before. Then we stumbled on to a place called Google. It was huge, with all the information in the world cluttered in every spot, and then, in a especially dark and dangerous place called Yorkshire Terrier Puppy Pictures we found this link: http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&client=firefox-a&channel=s&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=e8U&um=1&q=yorkshire+terrier+puppy+photos&sa=N&start=702&ndsp=18

There she was, first column, second row, in a group of pictures used by people who don’t own a Yorkie and need a photo of one, our Princess. “Oh my Dog Pocket do you know what this means?” I asked her. “Yes, Princess has pimped herself out to a toilet paper company,” she said.

“No,” I said. “The picture in Princess’ profile isn’t Princess at all.” (I knew she wasn’t a Yorkie.) But why? Why would someone pretend to be a sweet innocent little Yorkie pup? We decided to send Princess an e-mail posing as a six month old Pom pup. We arranged a meeting at the doggy park. Then we got a film van to tape what happened. But we couldn’t agree who would steer and who would work the pedals, so we left it behind and wrote down everything that happened.

At the allotted time of the meeting a snake slithered into the park and went to the bench we had designated at our meeting spot. In it’s mouth it had a bag with a pink bow. It curled beneath the bench waiting for the poor innocent pup expecting to meet a friend they made on line.

The snake’s tongue slipped in and out in anticipation. But instead of a pup a man sat on the bench. “Were you expecting someone else?” the man asked. “No, not really,” the snake said. The man bent down and picked up the bag. “Puppy Milk bones, a rawhide treat, a squeaky duck, you were expecting to meet a puppy weren’t you? Perhaps one you met on line?”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” the snake said trying to slither away. “Excuse me Princess, my name is Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. You are on To Catch a Puppy Predator. Isn’t it true that you arranged to meet a under aged Pom named Sunshine here, ply her with rawhide treats and a squeaky duck, and then swallow her hole? Isn’t it true you are posing on the Internet as a Yorkie named Princess? Do you have a problem Mr. Snake?

“I do, I do, I do have a huge problem, I’m not a Yorkie named Princess. I downloaded a photo on Google and set up a fake identity to lure in unsuspecting pups and delete them with my giant jaws of doom.” And…scene.

The rules of Cyberland that have come down from on high is that no one may have a profile on Doggyspace who is not a real dog. Princess has a photo downloaded from Google and no others. Her photos are of other dogs, her videos are of other dogs. You would think, with all the dogs in shelters, with all the rescue groups paying tithe to the castle, that the owner of Cyberland could at least have rescued a dog instead of creating a fake profile.

In Cyberland, under Princess’ rule, all dogs are equal. But some dogs are more equal than others.

In the words of the Princess herself: “As you know the rules are laid out clear…. It may be unforchunit for her personaly, however she knew she should not have done that before she even posted it, and we can not make exceptions…… as its a clear break of the community rules. Its sad to see so many adults act like children.”

So, because the rules are the rules, and we all have to follow the rules, there can only be one course of action for this behavior. So Tanner brigade line up. Good job. Now let’s turn and face the castle and let’s speak as one:

“ DELETE PRINCESS
DELETE PRINCESS
DELETE PRINCESS
DELETE PRINCESS”

HOOOOWWWWWLLLLLL! Refuges for Cyberland Again.






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